One of the topics I get so many questions on is, friendships in later life. There's a lot of you that reach out and are not really sure what to do. Some of you have lost friends over time, or had mom friends that you chatted with at drop off and pick up, but maybe it didn't go anywhere. Some of you were just so focused on mom and wife life that the girlfriend life kind of went to the way side. There's a lot that can happen to us along the way, as life takes on many different shapes. Growth, moving, some of us even just lose ourselves somewhere along the way, and it's a matter of stepping back and getting yourself back. I think I have been every one of these women along my journey. I thought I'd share a few tips and tricks to help you find your tribe! 1. Start by Revisiting Your Passions Finding friends with shared interests is key. Whether you’re into yoga, knitting, painting, or 80s rock concerts, there’s a community out there! Re-engaging with hobbies isn’t
Hey Babes~
It's funny to me sometimes that, when I sit down to write, what I had in mind totally shifts, changes, does a 360 and I end up sharing something off the cuff that I haven't even thought through.
That's what's happening in this post. Maybe it's divine intervention? Maybe it's ADHD. HA~Anyway, whatever it is, here we go!
Do you ever wonder, is anyone listening? I mean, really listening? I heard a quote once, unsure where it came from, but it stuck with me. Maybe it was a movie, if you've heard it, will you please tell me in the comments? Anyway, it was something like, "is it all just clicks and whistles on your end?" Do you feel that way sometimes, or all the time when talking to someone else?
Side note: The even funner part of winging it, is I have no idea where this is going to head, so, I hope you hang with me. If for nothing more than comedic relief if it bombs horribly.
We talk. All the time. To our spouse, kids, boss, co-workers. To ourselves. (LIGHTBULB) this is the nudge of where it's heading and someone needs to hear this. We talk all the time, but who's really listening? If I'm lucky, my spouse is HALF listening. I'm not sure if my kids were ever listening, but. YOU are ALWAYS listening to yourself. That little voice inside your head. Yeah, you know the one! It's going non stop. Sometimes I wish she would just shut up, but I guess she's there for a reason.
Thought provoking isn't it? That voice though. Inside your head. That's ALWAYS listening. It's important what you say in there. There's a ton of thoughts all day long, one study found that we think around 50,000 thoughts a day. And in my case, sometimes all night long. Where are those thoughts taking you? They can take you to a dark and scary place. It can be hard to change those thoughts.
**DISCLAIMER** If the thoughts are too dark and too hard to change, please babe. Seek help!
If the thoughts aren't life threatening, then there's some ways to change them without professional help. One of the ways to do this is to redirect those thoughts. It takes some time to catch them. If you're anything like me, you talk outloud to yourself as well. That's fun for the other people in the room! Did you also realize that what you say, you create? Yep. It's true. If you say, or think, I am such an idiot, I can't believe I did that. Then your subconscious will continue to show you ways that you're an idiot. Instead, try, Oh gosh that was silly! I know that I am supposed to put the milk in the fridge and not the cabinet! I was moving way too fast and lost track of what I was doing!
That example, by the way, is something I do OFTEN. Sling the milk into the cabinet.
Instead of saying, I can never get ahead. Money is always so tight. I never have enough, this is going to be an awful week. Try, That is not what my budget is allowing currently, but I know that keeping better track of my budget will help my to stay on track with expenses. OR I can't. Flip the switch: I don't know how but I am determined to learn!
Yes, it's going to take some time. Yes, it will feel weird for a while. Yes it will be worth it!
Hold on, one more thing to add. No, this does not mean that you will NEVER have these thoughts again, and that you will never have a bad day. It's just that, changing how you talk to yourself not only has positive impacts on you, but on others that you engage with as well!
I know I've said this before, but, it's worthy of a repeat. Think of it also like this. When someone says, how are you, how do you answer? I'm fine, or I'm ok or UGH let me tell you about this idiot that cut me off! Ok, that one is valid and sometimes you need to vent it out. Also, think about how things change when you change it up a bit. I started saying, "I'm fabulous, thanks for asking, and you?" Not only does it make people laugh, or at least a smile, then sometimes they take it up a notch and say, I'm amazing! Thank you!
Try it! Try it all! I promise you'll see changes. Not just in how you talk to yourself and to others, but also in how you look at your own life.
In you corner and rooting for you~
Your Bestie,
Carri
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